11 Things You Should Never Say During Your Performance Review

Between the feeling of being in the spotlight, the face-to-face interaction with your manager, and the severity of the task, performance reviews can feel pretty uncomfortable. And when you feel uncomfortable, you're not always as conscious (or careful) of your words. But if there's a time when you want to communicate effectively, this is it. After all, your performance review is often the only chance to get a raise, get a promotion or even save your job.

To make sure you don't unintentionally sabotage yourself, we've put together a list of things you shouldn't say. If you avoid these words, you will be a lot closer to your goal of passing the performance appraisal with flying colors.

1. "That wasn't my fault"

It is human nature to defend yourself. But when it comes to your performance reviews, you should leave your ego at the door.

Now is not the time for a lengthy explanation of why a mistake wasn't your fault. Even if it's the truth, it makes you look unprofessional, vindictive, and lacking confidence. Instead of saying it wasn't your fault, say, "I appreciate the feedback and I'll work on that in the future. Now is probably not the time, but maybe we can arrange to talk another time. This will give you that Opportunity to collect your thoughts, come to the table calmly and explain the incident pragmatically.

2. "And, and, and"

Even if you don't want to dismiss your manager's feedback, it's not right to say yes too quickly.

"Praising" your manager to death seems like a good way to appear likeable, but that's far from the truth. Real leaders are not yes-men and don't like to surround themselves with yes-men," says Scott Stenzler, founding partner of recruiting firm Atlas Search. "Research shows that yes-men don't think independently, can be intellectually dishonest, and lack honesty and they often create little to no value for the company.

Instead of just saying “yes,” show your manager that you understand and acknowledge their feedback.

Let your manager finish his thought. Instead, pause for a moment to make sure he/she is finished. This has the double benefit of showing him/her that you have carefully considered his/her point of view and only then agree with him/her. But most importantly, include all the reasons why you agree.

You said...

The basics of communication - when discussing a sensitive topic, you should never start with "you" statements. In a performance review, this could include statements like "You said I was getting a raise," "You didn't clearly state expectations," etc.

"You" statements can seem like accusations and blame, says Jen Brown, founder and director of TheEngaging Educator. Instead of "you," focus on "I" - I get it, I'm confused, I'd like to discuss .

But...

If you take it a step further and add a “but,” it can be even more awkward.

When you combine a “you” statement with the word “but,” you have created an argument. For example, if you say, "You said

To get your point across in a non-confrontational way, you just need to make a small change.

Instead of "but" the word "and" works just as well. If you go back to the example above, the conversation might sound like this: "I heard you say X and I was thinking about Y, can we discuss this further?" This opens up the conversation rather than putting one opinion over the other.

5. It was a team effort

Many people find it difficult to accept a compliment. But if there's a time when you don't want to do that, it's during your performance review - your most important moment to prove your value to your company.

Although it is important to give credit when it is due, it is equally important not to push your personal accomplishments onto others. When your manager congratulates you on a good performance, say, "Thank you! With the help of my team, I was able to achieve the goals we set for ourselves. I am very proud of this achievement."

6. That's not fair

This set is more suitable for the elementary school playground than the office.

Aside from sounding like a child, the idea that something is fair in the workplace is pretty subjective and emotional. Think about why you feel like it's not fair. Use concrete language to define what isn't fair - and if you keep coming back to "It's not fair," you may have hurt feelings.

These are valid - you just need to make sure you back up your emotions with facts, especially when making a review.

7. Can I get a raise?

To be clear, your performance review is a great time to ask for a raise, but asking a question like this probably won't convince anyone.

Now is not the time to say you need a raise. Now is the time to prove and show that you deserve a raise. Approach your performance review with a clear idea of ​​your accomplishments and how they resulted in results for the company. Then, when you get to speak in your conversation, talk about the things you've accomplished that you want to highlight.

Once you've proven your worth, you can talk about why you deserve a raise.

8. This is not my area of ​​responsibility

It may not be in your job description, but if you want to be seen as a top performer, it won't hurt to go above and beyond and help out every now and then.

Almost every job description ends with “and other assigned duties.” If you state that a particular task is not part of your job description, it may seem like you are trying to avoid work. Instead, be a team player and let your manager know that you didn't realize a certain task was expected of you, but now that you know, you'll take it on.

9. What about so and so?

There is a time and a place for you to raise concerns about a co-worker with your manager, but your performance review is not the place to do it.

When you talk about people who aren't there, you avoid the relationship you have in front of you. It's really easy to talk about another person when they're not present. Instead of distracting, consider why you are talking about another person. Are you easily scared? Are you trying to avoid the real crux of the situation? Think about the reason and address the real problem.

I know

Again, it's important to acknowledge your manager's feedback, but a statement like "I know" can come across the wrong way.

This can sound defensive to your manager when they're trying to give you constructive feedback.

Remember that “I know” can also be translated as “So what?” can be understood. And if you say "I know" enough times, you run the risk of sounding like a know-it-all, which isn't a good look. Additionally, if you recognize that there is an area in which you can improve, but only acknowledge it with an "I know," you are only making it clear that you see the problem, but don't care enough about a solution to find.

Instead, come to your performance review with a series of actions that you have implemented or want to implement to address this weakness. Be prepared to explain why some things worked and others didn't. Your manager took the time to prepare for the interview, and you should do the same.

11. I'm not good at this

Performance reviews are about growth, and sentences like this show that you're not willing to change and grow.

In Carol Dweck's groundbreaking book Mindset, she teaches that the most successful leaders are those who are able to move a little outside their comfort zone. Companies that employ professionals who practice a growth mindset often have a higher success rate. Let your manager know that you are willing to take on new tasks and put in the hard work to grow into increasingly challenging roles within your company.