How to master small talk

Small talk has a bad reputation as useless and superficial conversation. In reality, it is a very important social skill. Small talk is the type of conversation you have with people you don't know very well, often in an environment where it's important to be pleasant and polite.

Small Talk helps you have conversations with strangers, friends of a friend, or colleagues. It contributes to the smooth flow of interactions. But for many people, small talk is difficult. Here are the ways you can get really good at it.

1. Talk about the things you have in common

Although popular wisdom says that opposites attract, in reality we tend to prefer people who are similar to us. One of the first rules of small talk is to recognize the similarities. If you make small talk while waiting in line, you might talk about what you're waiting for.

If you are both friends with the same person, you could talk about them. The first idea for a chat is a place or the situation you are in. This commonality is a given and is often the easiest way to start a conversation with a stranger.

Second, you might consider a common interest or topic that can bring the two of you together. Finally, if it's not the first time you've met the person, you could bring up a shared experience, as long as it's not something unpleasant, of course.

2. Put a little feeling into your questions

Talking about the weather is justified when it involves an unusual situation, such as: B. extreme heat or heavy rain. However, this topic is generally considered boring.

Small talk should stay away from controversial topics, at least at first, but that doesn't mean it has to be bland. If you ask the person what they do for a living, they may not be very interested.

Instead, steer the conversation toward something that can spark excitement, interest, or fun. Ask questions that can have interesting answers.

3. Take breaks calmly

A break is uncomfortable. You may feel pressured to fill the silence with something to make yourself feel less awkward.

Those: pexels.com

However, the results are usually not the best. Instead, it makes sense to prolong the silence, take deep breaths, and relax before speaking. Let the other person take a step forward and don't force a conversation that isn't going well.

4. Pay attention to the answers

A common mistake we make during a conversation is thinking about what we're going to say next and not paying attention.

It is important not only to ask questions, but also to listen to the answers. They help us ask new questions and the interlocutor feels that we are interested in the conversation. This contributes to a more pleasant atmosphere.

5. Avoid controversial topics

Some topics can be very controversial. While they can move the chat forward if both parties agree, they can also lead to heated discussions and even arguments. When making small talk, it's best to stay away from controversial topics, such as: E.g. current politics, gender issues, sports, religion and others.

If the topic does come up, you can express your opinion diplomatically and wait for the reaction. Escalating an argument can be a bad idea in this situation, so it's best to be polite and polite and not assume that the other person shares or needs to share our opinion.

6. Be authentic

Those: pexels.com

Small talk is perceived as this forced form of conversation, but there's no reason it has to be fake or difficult. We should try to be as authentic as we can. We shouldn't push ourselves to praise something we don't like - a better strategy is to find a topic that piques our interest and explore it. We will not express our innermost desires and fears, but we should be authentic within the limits of politeness.

When we are both authentic and tactful, small talk comes much easier and flows much more naturally.